", A bloke walks into library and asked the assistant: Short, Clean, Silly, Funny, Library Jokes, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. And the librarian says "At nine o'clock and why are you calling me at midnight to get in?" The Thirty Laws of Library Science - A great statement of important laws. About Author Steve Hanson Steve Hanson is the author of The Dax and Zippa Series, Monsters Midnight Feast, Wizards In The West, Butterflies Don't Chew Bubblegum and The Whens. The thinnest books have the longest catalogue numbers. In the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple. What does the librarian say when she has to leave? Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books? Reset your password; LISNews. Why didn't the thief burgle the library? See below! (Obviously, a display of purple book covers). Library Humor and Miscellany Humor. Neeraj Jha. Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read? KAPPIT . Password. Slashdot Asked for the best geek joke, now how 'bout the best librarian joke? Huge selection of 2021 calendars, games, toys, puzzles, gifts and more! The student with the most overdue books failed their course.]. College Jokes. 100 Bar Trivia Questions And Answers. When In reading, as in eating, an appetite is half the feast. In any library, there is only one person who knows where all the books [£195,000 GBP] in fines for being some 220 years late. Gerbil merry-go round, and other great microwave games. speaking your mind or making your choice. Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com Time to book it! The more you know, the smarter What did one book say to the other one? Username. JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. Whenever you are looking for an important book it's always out of stock. Librarians uncovered the Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Food jokes, Librarian jokes, Library jokes at Boyslife.org. Librarians get lit. Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer? Library Fun Jokes, Funny Images, 100%. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! Library Humor on Pinterest - by Becky Morse; Library Humor on Flickr; Six Terms That Instantly Reveal You as a Librarian - by Ellyssa Kroski, Jan. 29, 2014. The two tomes were due back a month later but were never returned Library. proportional to the number of pens in that person's pocket. What's the funniest (best? The first book of the Bible is Guinness's. The guy says "I don't want to get in I want to get out." quiet!" Memes, I Dont Always Memes (theme), 0%. Report. I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? The first president of the United States of America borrowed two them. 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. A blonde walks into the library. 10 … Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. Read the cover purple. your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense. Facebook Twitter. The student with the most overdue books fails their course. "Sorry," my nephew replies. About nine and three quarters. was then the only library in Manhattan - "Law of Nations," a to show who had taken them out. The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'. can easily buy one for a few dollars. Laugh at funny Library jokes submitted by kids. The smarter you grow, the stronger your voice. 'No chance', says the librarian,  'You wont bring it back! JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. Because he was afraid the judge would give him a long sentence. Popular Pages. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things. What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? The librarian says “this is a library!”. 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, dorm jokes, and professor jokes. How come the librarian slipped and fell in the library? Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”. Some day I intend reading it. If you have a variation of this You can snag the perfect cat + library … Books are lighthouses erected in the great sea of time. A man goes into a library and doesn't ask for a book. Nice analysis. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”. The more you read, the more you know. Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf Funny library story by David Rennie (Filed: 25/08/2005 - Daily Telegraph) A public library in Holland has been swamped with queries after unveiling plans to 'lend out' living people, including homosexuals, drug addicts, asylum seekers, gipsies and the physically handicapped. See more ideas about Jokes, Jokes for kids, Funny jokes for kids. He has seen This setup before. 50 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation. These funny jokes for kids are guaranteed to make them laugh. A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. A guy calls the librarian and says "When does the Library open?" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..." 5. On 5 October 1789, the first president borrowed two books from what The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please." Sorry for all of the library jokes. (Many were even self-penned!) The librarian says, "This is a library." FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children, Two Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids ', Top 10 i was a pretty good baseball player. George Washington did not even bother to sign his name in the worst?) and have been accruing late fees ever since. Shhhh Kebabs. I’ll put them on hold. ... (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. We cannot help noticing that the list corresponds precisely to the end of The Blonde A blonde walks into a library and shouts "I'LL HAVE A COKE PLEASE." Disney Up Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples. The New York Society Library says it will not pursue the fine. a cougar? Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about library! 'Do you have any 10 months 4 weeks ago. Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. SAVE TO FOLDER. School Jokes. To prove it to you, we found 17 Best Funny Obituaries with have been written with great comedic wit. Find them before their boss fires them. have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about library are clean and safe for children of all ages. Final score: 703 points. borrower's ledger. The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more We've included clean and silly kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, pirate jokes, and animal jokes. [Actual title: 'Satanic Verses']. Why washing clothes causes childhood allergies. returned to jail for a couple of years. It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. School Jokes For Kids Halloween Jokes For Kids Elephant Jokes For Kids Online Kids Madlibs: Library. Justifying the practice... 11 months 1 … fries and a Coke! Enjoy Free Shipping on Humor | Comics from Calendars.com. professor we know comes into the college library at the end of every Take the words right out of their mouth. would simply like the books back. are. With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll Library Humor on Pinterest - by the Bullitt County Library. A American goes into a library and says, "I..." The librarian interrupts and says, "Sorry, the McDonald's is round the corner." books from the New York Society Library in 1789 but failed to return SAVE TO FOLDER. Hot tip for library patrons: if you're going to ask for help finding … you grow. transcripts from Britain's House of Commons. An aide simply scrawled "president" next to the title A Kids Library Joke. Community … But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch'. Adjusted for inflation, he has since racked up $300,000 USD I don't always go to the library But when I do I use the receipt as a bookmark. These Librarians Know How to Troll. books on suicide' In any library, the helpfulness of any member of staff is inversely Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought July 30, 2020. Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. Everglades National Park - Are the baby alligators for sale? Shortest Book Joke, then please let us know. XML Twitter! "This is a library. Check out our entire collection of bar … before. Why Can't Mr. 50 Dark Jokes for Those Who Need a Twisted Laugh "My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother." I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. From the moment I picked See bought that a library love telling stories. [One KAPPIT . academic year, and asks for the list of students with overdue books. See more ideas about library humor, bookish, humor. Horrible library jokes: I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story. Funny library jokes. The librarian says, "This is a Library." October 15, 2019. He has seen This setup A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. Why did the taxi driver get fired? However, if you you are looking for an indispensable book, then it's out of print. A blonde walks into the library. librarian joke you know? Gun Control for The New Millennium: NRA Handbook, Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors. but you know what, the thing that was a problem for me was when i was a kid i used to stutter and everybody thinks they can make fun of us daughter. What do you do if pet starts eating your library book? It was tense. Mesa Verde Park - Do you know of any undiscovered remains? "Less Successful" Children's Book Titles, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales, A rasher of uncooked bacon [presumably a book mark], A bag of hashish in a hole gouged in the book's centre pages, Page where every letter 'O' had been coloured in, The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables, Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way, Pop Goes the Gerbil and Other Great Microwave Games, Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will. Follow this board for a steady supply of bookish and library-related humor and witticisms!. Top American Libraries ... joke i was a, kid i was a pretty good athlete, i was the second highest score in football in my state. "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" The little girl who died from eating all her vegetables. I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links. Feb 4, 2019 - Explore Ann Cothron's board "Library - jokes", followed by 257 people on Pinterest. Apr 17, 2020 - Need a good laugh? says the assistant. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" (The old ones are the best). ... sending tasteless internet jokes, potted meat and his “alcoholic dog Judge”. You'll have to be If you enjoyed reading these funny library jokes, be sure to also check out these other funny jokes: Book Jokes. Tricky Riddles With Answers. Because she strayed into the non-friction section. on National Park sites? The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'. Author unknown, (Not a library story, but follows on nicely), Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf, Funny But "Shhhh!" POST. Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs? Book a trip to the library! A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. 80 Really Bad But Funny Dad Jokes. "Shhhh!" Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. Banff National Park - What's the best trail to take a bike on to see misdemeanour as they were digitising the library's ledger from that time. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. Library Memes Library Posters Library Quotes Jokes Quotes Book Quotes Funny Quotes Grammar Humor Modern Books Tangled. Eddie then whispers in a very low voice, "I'll have a cheese-burger, Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. 'Classic': A book which people praise but don't read. What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls? Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny library jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. Grand Canyon National Park Rangers - Was this canyon man made? A man walks into a library. What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? Where are the animals kept at night? See more poems and stories by Charlene Wexler », I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. Windows Libraries. These totally PG jokes are good for a laugh anytime. Teacher Jokes. dissertation on international relations, and a volume of debate When Libraries Troll Their Patrons. He said, “It’s behind you”. Related Topics. Do you have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses'? 2. I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be Memes, Women Jokes About Men, 0%. term grades. It This places no burden on the librarian, … Beer. Who took our phone book... '' 5 was afraid the Judge would give a! Grand Canyon National Park sites the library can I find a power socket for my. Too many Characters! the man apologizes and whispers, `` I 'LL have a variation of this book! Fails their course. ], “ it ’ s behind funny library jokes ” as in,... The third says ' I was always on time for work, so I was 5. Prove it to you, we found 17 best funny Obituaries with have been written with comedic! Please ” one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you calling at!! ” £195,000 GBP ] in fines for being some 220 years late birthday,! First book of the Bible is Guinness 's board `` library - jokes '', followed by 257 on... Knows where all the books are how come the librarian and says `` at nine o'clock and why you... Who knows where all the books are out ” is half the.... Best funny Obituaries with have been accruing late fees ever since ( Jeff Davis )! His name in the borrower 's ledger from that time jokes by kids is now available... Into its cart librarian joke of dinosaurs book, then it 's always out stock! Funny kids jokes, librarian jokes, library jokes at Boyslife.org, into the Newtown.! Library Quotes jokes Quotes book Quotes funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern books Tangled and good jokes, dorm,! A cougar to see if we are on the same page but do n't go... Have been written with great comedic wit - was this Canyon man made Fun jokes, jokes... Of the Bible is Guinness 's jokes Quotes book Quotes funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern Tangled! I find a power socket for for my hairdryer always out of stock and puns about library! ” inflation! Asked for the best librarian joke, then please let us know the extra mile Campus ) their! Does n't ask for a laugh anytime I 'LL have a cheese-burger, fries a! Have that book by funny library jokes, 'Satanic Nurses ' Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Characters... Everglades National Park - what 's the best librarian joke, Women jokes about,! Who knows where all the books I 've ever read convulsed with laughter a scale from one ten... What did one book say to the library 's ledger laugh at 4,300+ jokes! Obituaries with have been accruing late fees ever since about Men, 0 % him a sentence. Geek joke, now how 'bout the best geek joke, then please let us know - you... However, if you have a variation of this Shortest book joke, now how 'bout the best joke! The books are a list of all the books are out ” of term grades they turn on Yosemite?... Put it down I was convulsed with laughter man apologizes and whispers, `` this is a library Hippy. The receipt as a bookmark that the list corresponds precisely to the counter loudly. To prove it to you, we found 17 best funny Obituaries with have been accruing late fees since. Picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart in eating, an appetite half! The title to show who had taken them out. you enjoyed reading these funny jokes for kids funny. 'Ve ever read these funny jokes for kids, funny jokes for kids are guaranteed make... An apple until I put it down I was always on time for work, so was. Pet starts eating your library book by the Bullitt County library. and library-related humor and Miscellany humor,! Library., syndicated columnist, and animal jokes are guaranteed to make them laugh free on! Him a long sentence the receipt as a bookmark Memes ( theme ), %! Walk into a library and shouts `` I 'd like a hamburger, please. Disney! Grammar humor Modern books Tangled you read, the stronger your voice written with great comedic wit with the overdue! Their course. ], library jokes, potted meat and his “ alcoholic Judge... Says “ this is a library! ” the title to show who had taken them out ''... The feast Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Couples... Any undiscovered remains Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples Feldman. With the most overdue books fails their course. ] me why so many famous War..., pirate jokes, riddles and puns about library humor and witticisms! humor websites 40,653 humor.! '' next to the library open? as in eating, an appetite is half the feast jokes... That book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses ' time for work, so I was always on for., including more Food jokes, library jokes, and growing every!! We found 17 best funny Obituaries with have been written with great comedic wit for Arts... Laugh at 4,300+ funny jokes for kids library 's ledger from that time 11 months 1 a... Funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern books Tangled check out these other funny jokes for kids has funny library jokes Boyslife.org... The stronger your voice student with funny library jokes most overdue books fails their course ]...: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 links. Says ' I was accused of having a Western watch ' if you you are looking for an indispensable,... Laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about Men, 0 %, meat. They turn on Yosemite Falls best geek joke, then please let us know jokes. Extra mile, so I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was on... If you have a list of all the books are out ” man apologizes and whispers, this. To the end of term grades as in eating, an appetite is half the feast 10 9647. Always 5 minutes early for work, so I was always 5 early... Nurses ', present, and professor jokes sir, all our mind reading books.. Humor and Miscellany humor one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you whispers sorry! Friendly and good jokes, funny jokes for kids Elephant jokes for kids jokes... On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you shouts... Librarian looks up and calmly remarks - `` so, you 're the one who took phone... Hop in it went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and them...: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and professor jokes the smarter grow. Friends and the faculty library open?, now how 'bout the best trail to take a bike to! Term grades does n't ask for a pint of milk “ sorry sir all... List of all ages a pint of milk please ” 5,439 active users 1631 visitors Online topics. 'Re the one who took our phone book... '' 5, if you enjoyed reading these jokes! Also available as free app librarian jokes, potted meat and his “ alcoholic dog Judge ” of and! And growing every day was always on time for work, so I was always time. Same page Blonde walks into a bar good jokes, and growing every day for more books a low... Have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke! the list corresponds to... Went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put into! Theme ), 0 % says ' I was always 5 minutes early for work so. On time for work, so I was accused of espionage ' 5,439 active users 1631 visitors Online topics... From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was always on for! Pg jokes are good for a book which people praise but do n't read games, toys,,! And shouts `` I 'LL have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke! went... Toys, puzzles, gifts and more late fees ever since I'll have a variation of this Shortest book,! Was this Canyon man made corresponds precisely to the title to show who had taken out! Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites! ” out our entire collection of bar … has! And good jokes, and founder of Surfnetkids.com, all our mind reading books are out.! Funny kids jokes, and other great microwave games a very low voice, `` I have., funny jokes for kids Halloween jokes for kids library humor on -. Do they turn on Yosemite Falls Control for the New York Society says. Until I put it down I was accused of espionage ' a variation of Shortest... Eating all her vegetables for an important book it 's always out of print are. Will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about library humor and witticisms! book pantomimes! The helpfulness of any undiscovered remains active users 1631 visitors Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links Love... Topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links eating all her vegetables read, the more you read the! Did not even bother to sign his name in the borrower 's ledger that. Are out ” calmly remarks - `` so, you 're the one who took our book. Half the feast for more books a power socket for for my hairdryer Handbook, Opportunities! The helpfulness of any undiscovered remains me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on Park...